I DECLARE TEAM JACOB!

As near as I can tell, this is how you join a Twightlight team. Unlike bankruptcy, just saying it is sufficient.

Like all rivalries, this one isn't based in any meaningful substance. But I will argue with anyone about why Jacob is soooooo much better than Edward.

If Jacob and Edward fought, Edward would be reduced to gay little sparkly tears. And speaking of sparkly, what is with that? Is this the Gay Glitter Vampire Brigade? Do they also twirl battons and march in unison? It is like a bunch of high school rejects got together and decided that if they wore really nice suits and wore glittery make-up, they would finally get the chicks! Yeah, well, guess what, Edward? I've tried the glitter-and-Armani look and, let me tell you, it is NOT attracting the kind of girl you want. Well, I guess if you want to hang out with the Mid-Evil-Princess-Warriors-Weight-Watchers-and-Debaters then you are right on track. Also, let me add, any dude with a job, a sports car, lots of money, and who is WAY over 30 and is picking up on High School girls is more likely to end up on Dateline than to win any support from SMART people.

And one last thing: If a Jedi and a Vampire had a fight, the JEDI WOULD WIN. I don't even know how you people can argue about this! Think about it; Jedi = master of universal forces, powers of telekinesis and levitation, and wild, wild, LIGHT SABER skills; Vampire - Made of stone, scared of vegetables, can be killed with wooden tools, afraid of light. Hell, a teenage light-weight with a pointy stick spent several years killing vampires on TV. I think Yoda could reduce Buffy to space-goo with one deliberate flick of his Jedi-wrist.

So HA. Chew on THAT, you Edward wimpies. I'm going to go make some pro-Jacob jewelry. But it won't be wimpy jewelry. It will have rocks and hemp and cool not-glittery stuff.